To Do's and Not To Do's

On today's To-Do List:

1. Gather at least 5 potential sources for a paper in biology lab.
2. Fold laundry.
3. Study for calculus test (TUESDAY!!)
4. Prepare for labs next week.
5. Walk the dog -- EXERCISE!!
6. Church tonight.
7. Prepare to teach Sunday.

But for now I choose to focus a bit on #5. Copper the dog is jonesing for a walk, and I will soon oblige him. He's part beagle, part bloodhound, all cute and loving! He's the kind of dog that will ferociously protect our family from invading frogs and cats, but lick robbers to death. And while beagles have a genetic disposition to run away, Copper seems to have (finally) overcome it and just waits for us at the gate. But put him on a leash, and look out!

The beagle part battles the bloodhound part on our walks. He gets so excited that he pulls on the leash, forging ahead as fast as the owner on the other end will let him. I decided at one time that Copper is a sprint-interval doggie; he likes to run all-out for 1-2 minutes, and then walk the same amount of time, for about 4-6 cycles. Which works well for me, since I like to do that, too. Copper's little body seems to be made mostly of fast-twitch muscle fibers, which give him a lot of power and speed for about 1/2 mile (maybe a bit more) but leave him breathless and helpless for long-distance walks. Once, he actually sat down before we got to the last mile of a 3-mile walk and refused to go further. I felt the need to carry him, he was panting so hard! Needless to say, a marathon is definitely not on Copper's to-do list.

There are other times, though, when the beagle of the beast seems to be (mostly) in check, and the bloodhound takes over. Those are the times that Copper resembles a canine vacuum cleaner. As soon as we hit the sidewalk, his nose is to the ground, sniffing after any trail he can pick up. Yet even then, the beagle creeps back in; while his front half is busy sniffing, his back half gets antsy, so he ends up walking sort of sideways as his hindquarters try to overtake and pass the front end.

We adopted Copper a couple of years ago on spring break. Prior to that I had relaxed my no-pets policy and gave in to the boys' requests for mice. We were at Petsmart to buy mouse food for Runner and Boomerang (neither of which are still with us, may they rest in peace) when we met Copper. He was in the PAWS pen in front of the store, wrestling with another dog, when he sniffed Luke out and commenced to making friends and stealing hearts. Luke was afraid of dogs -- deathly afraid -- since he was barely walking. Yet Luke fell for Copper. We would've gone on about our day without adding a dog to our family had Luke not put his foot down and said, "I'm not leaving without that dog!"

So we left Petsmart with mouse food, dog food, other various and sundry dogcare accessories and information, and a dog -- and with wallets about $300 lighter. Today, Luke plays with Copper occasionally, but he mostly waves to him as he walks past him toward his Legos. *sigh* But Copper has gained a family that feeds him and loves him, and Wes and I have gained a new walk/run partner.

On our walk/runs, Copper sniffs and marks, and I observe and admire my neighbor's landscaping prowess. We lovingly call our neighborhood "Pleasantville." It's deliberately designed to look like a scene from Leave it to Beaver. Only I don't wear pumps and pearls while vacuuming (or walking the dog) like June Cleaver.

There are some gorgeous yards in this subdivision! So many different colors and varieties of blooms and bushes and vines and trees, so many shapes of leaves and perfectly-coiffed lawns of full and fluffy green grass. Perfectly sparkling white picket fences surround family getaways in the back yards of these perfect houses, marking where perfect families reside. I find myself planning what I want to do with my landscaping, getting ideas from my neighbors, while I'm out exercising my body. I lapse into a bit of a dream state occasionally, visualizing a perfectly level back yard behind my house, complete with a great deck or rocked-in patio, topped by a canopy garden lights strung between the shade trees that sparkle in the twilight while we entertain. The scent of jasmine wafts on the breeze from vines covering the fences. Colors converge from various flowering bushes, perfectly pruned and arrayed. Tiki torches and lanterns light paths encircling the little garden patches, leading to a bench here, an arbor there...

Suddenly I'm ripped out of my reverie by a reminder of my to-do list:

1. Gather at least 5 potential sources for a paper in biology lab.
2. Fold laundry.
3. Study for calculus test (TUESDAY!!)
4. Prepare for labs next week...

And I shake it off, and return to my reality with a sigh.

Before I started school I had a pretty nice yard. It wasn't perfect, because I'm not a perfect gardener. Our home is only about eight years old, and we started from scratch in our yard. I have a short-sighted tendency to plant things too closely because the bed looks too sparse when the plants are first put in; next thing ya know, they're crowding each other and fighting for food and root space. At any rate, I began well, and we had a pretty nice look going. There was color in the front yard, with rows of white brick circling several flowerbeds. There was symmetry in the back yard, and while I wanted vines to line the fences and grow up lattices against the garage, I at least had a start with sage, boxwoods, and lantana in a variety of shades. Plans were made for planting more trees, and possibly a small kitchen garden.

Then the nudging on to higher education came; my yard has suffered ever since.

Copper and I return from our walks, tired yet invigorated, to a yard that sometimes grows more weeds than grass, complete with patches where nothing grows at all, and flowerbeds that grow more grass than flowers. He doesn't care -- he just wants to lie down after a long drink from the water bowl. But I have to put on blinders, because I know that my priority is research and homework, not gardening. What little time is left after that will go to laundry and dinner.

The unfortunate truth is there are only 24 short hours in everyone's day. Only so much can be crammed into those limited hours. This is a universal truth that nobody escapes. I feel at times that I have enough responsibilities to fill at least 30 hours on most days, when they're all piled up together in a big heap on my to-do list. Some days, my to-do list looks more like a dream list -- the list compiled of all the things I want to do, I wish to do, I dream to do. Only I dream of boring things like yardwork, while others dream of travel and shopping. But my list still looks dreamy (full of things that'll only get done in my dreams) especially when viewed in the light of what has to be done to prepare for tomorrow's classes or this week's tests or Nathan's band trip next week or Luke's chess tournament in a few days...

So I choose to neglect my yard. I'm sure my neighborhood association will not approve, and they may even send me a letter just so I'll know exactly how much they disapprove and on what grounds. It'll go in the pile of mail, along with the other low-priority stuff that will not get my attention today. I have to set priorities when so many things are screaming for my attention; at this stage in the game, school (and exercise -- why neglect my own health while endeavoring to become a healthcare practitioner?!) trumps yardwork.

And regardless of what my neighbors think, Copper still loves me.

Stem Cells

I decided I (finally) needed to start doing some medical reading. Behind the eight-ball, ya think??

At any rate, this was an intriguing abstract from a study I will read in depth:

Scientists Generate Stem Cell Line from Patient with Lou Gehrig's Disease

Privately funded scientists report successfully generating stem cells from a patient with an inherited form of Lou Gehrig's disease, or amyotrophic lateral sclerosis (ALS). Starting with skin cells from the patient, the scientists used viruses to insert factors to reprogram the adult skin cells into induced pluripotent stem cells (iPSC) (see Human Skin Cells Reprogrammed). Once they had generated an ALS-iPSC line, the scientists coaxed the cells into becoming the type of motor neurons that are destroyed in ALS. These iPSC-derived motor neurons carry genes responsible for ALS and hold great potential for investigating the ALS disease process in human cells. Scientists are still uncertain whether the iPSC-derived motor neurons will degenerate in the same way as the patient's naturally occurring motor neurons. Ongoing experiments are comparing healthy motor neurons to the ALS-iPSC–derived motor neurons. If the iPSC-derived motor neurons show signs of ALS-like degeneration, they will be invaluable for observing events in the course of the ALS disease process and for testing potential ALS drugs on human cells in the laboratory before the drugs are used in humans. Science advance online publication, laboratory of K. Eggan. 2008 July 31.

Of interest to me in this study:
1) The stem cells were generated using adult stem cells.
2) They were generated in the hope of observing the disease progress, in order to run drug trials that will not harm actual patients, which I would assume would allow for more progressive and innovative (read: risky) research.
3) The scientists running the study are privately-funded.

1) Why did the scientific community go to embryonic stem cells? Was this their first approach, or did some study or another suggest that they would work better than any others? It would seem, from the chronology that I've observed (admittedly, not in detail), that experimental success with adult stem cells is being reported only recently. Is that because the trials are just now coming to conclusions and they started the trials concurrently with embryonic research?

I wonder at the level to which we've sunk if our first thought is to start with an embryo. I guess it boils down to your definition of a living individual. If you believe that the baby growing inside a mother is merely a growth of cells, then they are cells that belong to her, they are part of an individual that reserves the right to do whatever she wants with her body. But if you recognize the embryo as an individual from the moment of conception, then that embryo is the most precious and innocent of all live, and deserves our utmost protection. The thought of fetus farming is reprehensible to me, as one who has taken medicine as her life's calling.

None of this is to say that I don't support the research -- I am sold! We should learn all we can, and innovate as many cures and preventions as possible. To that end, this study is extremely promising, because all individuals are served and protected, even the smallest of all.

2) Human cell petri dish -- how cool is that?? With this method, researchers can be as progressive in their drug protocols as they deem necessary without causing any harm. They can push the envelope and forge into new treatment territories. What a great place to start!

3) Privately-funded scientists would seem to have more freedom to innovate than those who are government-funded. Granted, the other side of the coin is the risk that your benefactor would not like the results you're observing and would threaten to pull the plug if you don't produce evidence to their liking. And there's the chance that the well would run dry. But on the upside, you would surely have more freedom, less parameters, and far less red tape than with the government funding your research.

On that note, I looked up John McCain's statements regarding health care and research. This was of interest:

Stem cell research offers tremendous hope for those suffering from a variety of deadly diseases - hope for both cures and life-extending treatments. However, the compassion to relieve suffering and to cure deadly disease cannot erode moral and ethical principles.For this reason, John McCain opposes the intentional creation of human embryos for research purposes. To that end, Senator McCain voted to ban the practice of "fetal farming," making it a federal crime for researchers to use cells or fetal tissue from an embryo created for research purposes. Furthermore, he voted to ban attempts to use or obtain human cells gestated in animals. Finally, John McCain strongly opposes human cloning and voted to ban the practice, and any related experimentation, under federal law.As president, John McCain will strongly support funding for promising research programs, including amniotic fluid and adult stem cell research and other types of scientific study that do not involve the use of human embryos.Where federal funds are used for stem cell research, Senator McCain believes clear lines should be drawn that reflect a refusal to sacrifice moral values and ethical principles for the sake of scientific progress, and that any such research should be subject to strict federal guidelines. (http://www.johnmccain.com/Informing/Issues/95b18512-d5b6-456e-90a2-12028d71df58.htm)

Admittedly, it's only slightly interesting, because it's the talking points, the public statement found on his website. But, from my limited knowledge, it lines up with what I believe to be right. I will learn more in the days and months to come, and will continue checking the alignment.

NOW??

I have tried from the onset of this blog to not make it political; I figure I'd leave the soap-boxing to other bloggers, like my buddy Eric over at http://20thhole.blogspot.com. (You're welcome, E!) In fact, I try to reserve forming my opinions until I've done the research, and I don't count my daily dose of NPR Morning Edition as research. I'm aware that all news programs are sensationalist and that there's so much to the news than what is reported.

But I feel that NOW (the National Organization for Women) has forced my hand. I heard an interview with their president, Kim Gandy, this morning making an unprecedented statement, that NOW will be endorsing the Obama/Biden ticket. They don't usually make endorsements in general elections (at least not publicly), but Gandy claimed that Sarah Palin's appointment made it clear how crucial their endorsement was this year. A woman tapped to run for such a high office has scared NOW into endorsing the other, all-male ticket. Makes sense right? (How I wish you could see me roll my eyes here!)

I was impressed when John McCain appointed Alaska governor Sarah Palin as his running mate, even before I knew anything about her -- mainly because this election, on a social level, is historically significant. No matter which party is elected in November, history will be made and an underrepresented minority will take up office in the White House. And that's cool.

I'm trying (but not too hard, I must confess) to learn more about Governor Palin and her positions and policies. On a personal, woman-to-woman level, I am impressed that she seems to have made the balance work: She is an intelligent woman who has achieved sufficient status and power in her career while raising children. She is making her dreams come true on all the fronts. That is enough to make me applaud her, but not necessarily vote for her. Yet the picture is unfolding in front of me, the facts are rolling in, and I like her more and more every day. She wants more affordable fuel and alternative energy, she adheres to a moral and ethical center policy-wise that impresses me, she seems to be honest and clear-headed in her decisions, and she seems to be innovative and forward-thinking without selling America out.

NOW says that only 42% of women favor Governor Palin for the vice-presidency, and that number goes down 10% more when you talk to single women. Gandy stated in her interview that, although Palin is being portrayed as a feminist, she holds positions that are "anathema" to women's causes, because she believes in the sanctity of life regardless of how it comes about. She went on to say that Palin is "so completely out of step with American women."

I have to ask -- WHICH WOMEN? WHICH 42% responded to this poll that shows such a lack of support for the only woman in the running? And how, since I -- an American woman -- find her policies reasonable and can relate to her positions, can she be "completely out of step with American women"? She's not out of step with me.

Raise your hand if you have ever participated in a political poll. Say, "aye!" if you've been asked for your views regarding issues or politicians in order to be quoted by a news service. Give a shout-out if you've ever nudged your buddy while watching the news and said, "See that percentage of people polled? I'm one of them!"

I've never been asked to participate in a poll of voters, yet I am a voter. I have heard over and over again how leaders I support are losing favor among the American people while I continue to support them. And now I hear that a woman that I see as making American history is out of step with the overarching group called "American women," a group to which she and I both belong?

Puh-leeze!

I endeavor to stay away from partisan politics. I have been tempted to vote according to the Right to Life list of prolife politicians, disregarding their record on any other issue, but as I've grown and studied, and developed my critical thinking skills a bit more, I find myself more apt to look at many issues, not just the "values" issues. Even on the values issues (which I am in no way demeaning by saying this) I find myself a bit more pragmatic than I used to be. While I personally disagree with gay marriage because of my biblical perspective, I don't think it's the roll of my government to determine whether or not gay couples should be afforded the same financial or healthcare rights I get as a married person, nor do I think the Constitution makes any statement on the issue whatsoever. While I agree with Palin and other conservatives that human life is sacred from the moment of conception, I feel that conservatives would gain a lot more ground in their prolife policy agenda if they would scale back the rhetoric a bit. Those are hot-button issues that I may garner some flack over, and they're not the only issues, but are sufficient enough to express my political vantagepoint. All-or-nothing attitudes, when it comes to politics, will get you more of the latter.

NOW states that they are endorsing Obama and Biden because of their extensive record of support for women's rights. I've spent some time on the Obama-wagon. I admit, I was enamored with his crowd appeal, with his charisma, with his traditional black-preacher speaking style. I confess to watching Obama-girl on YouTube (it was a guilty pleasure) and kind of relating to her crush. But one thing I've never fooled myself into thinking was that Barack Obama has an extensive record on anything. Yet Kim Gandy, who I'm sure is an intelligent and strong woman of position, made a statement in a nationally-broadcasted interview that would lead listeners to think that the Democratic candidate has been in national government long enough to have amassed an extensive record. He just does not have enough experience under his belt to make it in the top office. I am willing to wager that he will have different opinions on many of the planks in his platform ten years from now. That's just life -- we live, we learn, we grow. If we don't, we're not really living. I am just more comfortable with someone who has done more of that living and learning before (s)he becomes President.

I still recognize that I did not get the entire story from this short interview on a left-leaning news show. But what I did hear frustrated me enough to make my voice heard.

Hadron, Schmadron!

...I say thumbing my nose and stifling a yawn (trying to hide my intellectual shame).

Two nights ago I first heard about the new superconductor circling underneath France and Switzerland. I was finally in my pajamas after a l-o-o-o-n-g day, ready to veg with a glass of wine and the last half of a CSI rerun, totally minding my own decompressing business when Wes walks in and casually announces:

"So they've built a new superconductor and plan on testing it this week. Some people think it's going to create a million tiny black holes through which the planet will be sucked up and destroyed."

Normally, I'd banter with, "Really? So, who exactly is 'they'? Our swinging neighbors? I wondered what all that racket was this weekend, but I assumed it was just one of their legendary parties." And then segue into some asinine conversation about swingers and black holes, which Wes would've thoroughly enjoyed.

That's what I'd normally do. This night, as shot as all my nerve endings and synapses were, I responded with, "Huh."

Announcement forgotten.

Until last night, when Wes felt the need to educate me on the Hadron supercollider. He calls me into the office -- again, finally in pajamas, kids finally tucked in for the night, just as I was heading to the kitch for (yep, you guessed it) a glass of wine -- with a tantalizing note of excitement in his voice. You know the note, a bit flirty, a bit intriguing, the excitement edging its tones with something that says, "I know something that's gonna interest you, and you HAVE to come here!"

So I went to the office, all a-quiver with anticipation of this fascinating tidbit that I'm sure he had for me, only to find a cued-up YouTube video (view it here if you dare: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=T3iryBLZCOQ ) -- it's this ridiculous rap-styled tutorial, way too long and repetitive to remain interesting, about the Large Hadron Collider (LHC). It's one of those pop-culture knock-off attempts to convince science dummies and kids exactly how hip science really is. It's like Bill Nye, only worse. (I shouldn't say that; I actually like Bill Nye. I had a crush on him when I was a kid -- or was that when my kids were little? Hmmm, can't remember...)

So finally when the bad rap is over, I had to ask with a sigh, "Where on earth did you find that?" He answers. Then I had to ask (while stifling a yawn), "Why on earth did you want me to see that?"

He answers by explaining the concept to me. About 2/3 of the way through his lecture, he finally catches on that I'm not very interested -- I think it was when my eyes rolled into the back of my head and I slumped over onto the ground where I immediately began snoring.

I finally commented, "I don't think it'll destroy the world, and I don't really have an intellectual or spiritual problem with it -- I don't think this is heresy or blasphemy or the Tower of Babel, necessarily. What I do think it is, is an astronomical waste of money, time, and effort."

Maybe I'm wrong. But I just don't see what good it will do for humanity to know exactly what happened to all the antimatter (which, by the way, if "they" don't know where it went, nor has it ever been seen, how do "they" know it ever existed in the first place?) or to find the ever-evasive Higgs proton that's supposed to be the central component of nuclear physics (or something) that nobody has ever actually seen.

Unbelievable. It's unfathomable to think that so many people get excited enough about this to spend their life pursuing it, and billions and billions of dollars that could be used to -- I don't know, provide clean drinking water and peace for millions in underprivileged countries that we in the "progressive western world" have pillaged for their resources for centuries??

But maybe -- just maybe -- as one who is studying chemistry for a minor, who will be taking physics in the next several months, maybe I should be interested. Maybe I should be intrigued and entertained by geeks in hard hats and labcoats lipsynching rap lyrics and saying, "yo, yo, that's how we do it in the LHC, b*tch!"

*yawn*

Just when you think...

Just when I think my kid is growing up too fast...

I mentioned a few posts back that Nathan, who is now Nate, has embraced puberty and the pseudomaturity of the middle-schooler. I sighed over his sudden interest in his personal grooming and his newly-honed fashion sense, and I chided myself for the need to check on him.

The next day, I did drive by his bus stop. Not because I was checking on him, but because my truck was pointed in that direction when I parked it the night before, and that's the way I had to drive to leave our neighborhood. Honest!! But since I was passing by, I thought I'd wave, suppressing the kid-embarrassing maternal urge to blow him a kiss.

When I looked for him, he wasn't there. Other kids were there, even his best friend Matthew. Oh, no! Panic set in.

So I did what any mother would do -- I rolled down the window and asked Matthew if he had seen Nate.

"Uh, yeah," Matthew said, "he's in the tree."

With my eyes I followed his pointing finger into the top branches of the corner tree, and saw my super-cool, hairgel using, newly matured son. "Hi, Mom!" he proudly called over the sound of rustling leaves.

Good, the little boy isn't gone after all!

... and I'm okay with that

In the minds of many observers, the typical science student is very serious, very singular in focus, and very boring. I know this because I've been that observer. I've seen the girls that are too busy studying to fix their hair and makeup. I've overheard the passionate discussions about the lab experiments being conducted that week while I stifled a yawn. I've giggled inside when I see a science geek's eyes light up when discussing the mathematics of DNA sequencing. Yep, science students, whether it's because they think in different stratospheres than the rest of us, have impressed me and many others I've talked with, as being pretty dull. And I've maintained this stereotype, even after becoming a science student myself.

Weird, I know.

And I have, for most of my life, harbored one single fear, one concern that can send me shrieking into the back closet locking the door behind me -- that I would become boring. *gasp!* I think this hangup against monotony is the culprit behind my ever-changing hair color, my many and diverse interests and pursuits, and probably my _________ I dunno, you fill in the blank. Whatever strangeness that can be seen in me, blame it on my boycott on boredom!

I have, subconsciously or otherwise, carried this dread of becoming uninspiring into my degree path. Since I've re-entered university, and since I've declared my intent to continue on to medical school, I have taken three dance classes (modern, ballet, and contact improvisation), a science-fiction literature class, and have entertained the thought of voice lessons as well as ashtanga yoga. The only thing that has kept me out of art classes is the time commitment; I could never find a way to squeeze a 4-hour life drawing class into my schedule (darn it!)

This semester, along with 12 hours of math and science classes, I registered for Arabic Cultures. My thinking? My ultimate goal in this life of doctoring is to do medical missions, and specifically, missions to Arab countries such as Egypt and Sudan. So when I saw the class offering I jumped on it, figuring I'd need to know a little something about how to conduct myself within these cultures when the time comes.

On the first day, members of the class were asked to introduce ourselves with our name, major, and why we were taking the class. I carefully constructed my introduction in my mind as my turn approached (as I'm sure everyone does, right?!) The professor was taken aback, expressing surprise that a biology student would be remotely interested in anything other than microscopes and biospheres.

Stereotype confirmed. *sigh*

As the semester started rolling, however, I found myself giving too much time to this class, which stole time from organic chemistry and calculus. The stress started adding up more and more as the weekends ticked by with busy family schedules -- birthday party for the boys, homework for the boys, shopping for the boys, church activities, and a girls' night which I had on the calendar for months (not to mention an ever-pressing urge to blog!) And for some reason, my husband still wants dinner and clean laundry, and an occasional snuggle. I know, can you believe it?! I didn't have near enough time to commit to the books, and the lectures were whizzing past, leaving me dizzy. I wound up Sunday night with my head in my hands, tears streaming down my face, wondering what on earth was I doing?!

From some other place, somewhere far removed from me, from deep recesses of some ancient well, I heard my voice shouting, "God, you gave me this dream and goal, but why?! If you want me to do this, you need to show me how!!" Okay, so it wasn't that dramatic, but it was a desperate prayer -- and one answered right away with an overwhelming sense of peace as the solution made itself apparent.

I dropped Arabic Cultures Monday morning. I explained to my professor that I knew now why so many science students seem uninterested in anything but science -- because there's no time for anything but science when science is your major.

The same day, I officially declared Biology as my major, with a minor in Chemistry. By filling out one single, simple form, I embraced the uni-dimensionality (is that even a word?!), the singular focus of the science student. I officially became boring.

And I'm okay with that.

Here's the thing. Despite my natural interests in the arts and literature, and my lifelong avoidance of math and science, I am finding I have a good aptitude for the coursework in my major. Still, at times it can be a slog. I don't have a burning fascination for the subject matter of the medical prerequisites; sure, I'm interested, but I can rarely go as far as to say it intrigues me. I don't lie awake puzzling over cell meiosis and why vertebrates evolved the mechanisms of sexual reproduction. I don't dream about ways to bend protein sequences just so, in order to achieve a desired outcome. I don't wake up and bounce out of bed, eager to titrate acid solutions and calculate the derivative of tangent.

I do lie awake some nights, though, wide-eyed and dreamy as Wes and I discuss the future's possibilities. I visualize myself scrubbing in for surgery. I thrill at the thought of setting bones in Africa and playing with the children of patients in far-flung impoverished countries. I cherish the thought of hugging a grateful patient and praying for those in need in real time. I dream of working with my husband to bring proper healthcare to the people in whatever corner of the earth God leads us.

Organismal biology and genetics and organic chemistry and physics (and a list too extensive and tedious to lay out here) are the steps that will take me to those smiling faces, equipped with things that can help them live longer, fuller lives. So that they, in turn, can impact their world in a way they couldn't without the medical help and the loving touch that I will one day give them.

Maybe I am boring -- but maybe not; I still have word-creating powers!! (Recall, if you will, uni-dimensionality? What'd I tell ya, I'm a supergenius!)

But for a season, I am a Biology Major and Chemistry Minor. This is what I do, and not much more.

... and I'm okay with that.

Go G(r)eek!

Fashion Statement of the semester: Go Greek! Whether your signature style is a black tee emblazoned with these words in pink, or a strapless beach dress with 'Go Greek!' scrawled across the chest, we gotcha covered (mostly)! You and the several hundred other girls involved in sororities on campus that are dying to look just like you.

I was struck by yet another element of my life on the perimeter, and no, not the fact that I live out of my truck during the week. The two little words 'Go Greek' showed me my extremely limited involvement in university organizations, academic or otherwise. I am a member of the TSU Premed/Predent Society. I considered joining the Non-Traditional Student Organization (NTSO) but I got the strange feeling that there would be much whining about the woes of scheduling, families, and not fitting in (heh, that's what I do here!) And as a requirement for a class this semester, I am a member of the new Arabic Cultures Club -- we'll see how that goes, but methinks it'll be interesting.

I've never really had the desire to rush a sorority, even when I was a traditional university student 18 years ago (gulp!) There's a bit of non-conformity in my DNA that involuntarily scoffs during rush week. But I see the human need, even in me, to belong to something bigger than oneself, to have a group with which to identify.

That group, for me, would wear a tee-shirt that boldly pronounces

GO GEEK!

No, really!

Actually, the group I most readily identify with is the one for whom I am the most responsible: my family. While I feel a touch of pride in my Premed Society membership (read: I pay my annual dues and attend as many meetings as I can squeeze into my packed schedule) and I tend to wear my Mature Student Martyr patch prominently on my shoulder, the ones that depend on me the most are the three boys (hubby included) that live in my house.

I'm good with that. But I still struggle with the involvement issue. No, not to belong to a sorority or any other social clubs on campus, to make sisters for life. Medical schools look at involvement beyond your GPA when assessing potential students. They want to see more than just premed society membership, they want to see involvement such as holding office. They want to see diversity of interests and the discipline shown by fulfilling and maintaining commitments, all while holding a solid GPA in the toughest sciences and math classes.

My family is made up of four multi-faceted individuals, with far-ranging interests and passionately held viewpoints. Debate around the dinner table is common, as well as silliness and raucous laughter. We read up on diverse subjects, we study much, we experiment with art and music, we enjoy exotic and eclectic cuisine -- Luke loves ahi tuna, and Nate continuously requests Moroccan lamb stew -- and we exercise our bodies with many different activities (we get bored easily.) While we may not see eye to eye on everything, we all agree on one thing: We're a bunch of geeks! I'm a firmly committed member of this geek society, a fixture in the family landscape. I hold offices, such as Head Buyer, Executive Chef, Domestic Administrator, and Secretary of Schedule-State. While I defer to Wes as President, I tend to think I hold a lot of pull in the decision department. All while staying on the Dean's List, and stretching myself to the outer limits intellectually with 15 hours of university-level classes.

Surely, this will be enough?!

I'm hoping that the committees at the med schools I apply to see it that way, at least.