7.1

This is week one of my seventh semester at Texas State University. Or, as I'm calling it here, 7.1. My first semester was the perfect picture of me sticking my toe in the water before diving in; I took only six hours. Most semesters since then I've taken only 12-13 hours. My first two semesters were spent fulfilling core education requirements -- the stuff all majors require like history and English. It was during this time that I realized I accomplished so very little in my first college attempt, and thus, I was basically starting over.

My third semester was my first really serious challenge in the sciences: general chemistry, freshman biology (for majors), college algebra, and a philosophy class, and (oh, yeah) weight training (because heavy metal rocks!) That semester totalled 14 hours with labs and it nearly did me in, so I scaled back my hours the next semester. Oh, and I added a dance class for my second physical wellness requirement. Other classes included the second half of general chemistry, pre-calculus (which I took without taking the foundational trigonometry, mind you; if you're reading this before you've embarked upon your own education, don't make that mistake) and the core communications requirement -- a basically easy semester (except the math.)

At that point, I was still considering physical therapy, and dance was proving to be an intriguing therapeutic modality. At least that was my excuse to take TWO dance classes the following semester. I also enrolled in an athletic training class for the physical therapy requirements, calculus I, and an honors literature class. Only one class in the entire lineup fulfilled a medical school prerequisite. Pretty safe to say, an amazingly fun semester.

And an almost complete waste of time.

I shouldn't say that. I visited three medical schools that semester, convincing me that truly was the path I wanted to take. I got involved in TSU's premed society. And I learned a killer improvisational dance form. I had fun, and refreshed myself for the rest of my undergraduate matriculation.

Then last semester hit. That's when I started this blog, so if you've been observing faithfully, you pretty much know what that was: An uphill slog through knee-deep mud, complete with requisite bitching and moaning while I actively pulled my hair out and scared my children with my manic study habits. At least that's how the first part of it went. I must say, I think I ended rather well. Now I'm a full-fledged premed student, logging hours in classes such as microbiology, genetics, physics, and more organic chemistry.

This point of this inventory? I'm glad you ask:

I returned to university six semesters ago. I have enough college credit hours to be a senior ready to graduate this calendar year. Yet, for all intents and purposes, I am a sophomore. My projected graduation date is in December of 2011. About five months after my 40th birthday.

*sigh*

College is a different journey when undertaken several years into life, and you have passengers along for the ride. There are advantages and disadvantages. The advantages include an undying fascination with the subject matter. Any subject matter. I am a woman starved in the midst of famine, and my classes are a veritable feast that I can't stop myself from gorging on. I am still amazed at how much I enjoyed math and chemistry (my parents marvel at that, too; you wouldn't believe the looks they give me when I tell them how much I'm digging this stuff.) I am pursuing my education with a purpose. I'm not looking for myself, because I've already found her. I can see the end, and am taking steps with purpose towards it. I have a plan, and I'm doing the plan, so each semester I can tick off as one step closer to finishing it.

Not only am I interested, I appreciate the financial commitment I've made. I have a professor that put it this way: education is the only business in which the customer (the student) will pay full price for a product/service, but will gladly accept less than full service/product. But not me; being a more experienced consumer, I will eek every last cent out of my purchase. I attend every lecture, every study session, every lab. I put in extra time reading and studying. And that professor's comments helped me realize that I'm paying for knowledge, not a piece of paper, and not a good grade. That tidbit will help me focus on even more effective study habits.

Now, the disadvantages:

• I am older than several of my professors, and all of my lab instructors.
• My peers call me "ma'am."
• I can't take as many semester hours as other science/pre-professional students due to family commitments and schedules, nor can I attend all the organizational meetings. This will make my undergrad tenure longer than others in this major.
• I can't live in an apartment near campus, so my commute is a bit further.
• I occasionally have to listen to complaints from my children that I'm spending more time with textbooks than I am with them. Consequently, I have to battle mommy-guilt for that.
• I can no longer "pull an all-nighter" when I want, but when I don't want to "pull an all-nighter," I am visited by hormone-induced insomnia and do anyway.
• There's more laundry, more dishes, more cooking, more chores here than in the typical college student's home. Also more noise, more distraction... just, more.

Alas, at the end of this second inventory, I am convinced that the advantages (although they're fewer in number) far outweigh the disadvantages (because they're bigger.) And I'm convinced that every disadvantage has an accompanying advantage that wipes it out.

7.1 may not be as close to the end of my undergrad as it would be to Someone Else's, but it's right where I need to be. And I'm ready to face it head-on.

Come on, lucky seven!

Thankful

Today I am relishing my last day of domesticity and family calm before tomorrow brings the whirlwind of activity known as Mom's Semester. Most of my books are in. My schedule is printed and ready. I'm doing a few home projects that I know I won't have time for once I get rolling academically again, namely laundry, changing bed linens, cleaning the floors... you know, all the household fluff jobs that don't have to be done.

I'm kidding -- I know laundry is necessary, and clean sheets are a must, but I also know that I don't get to these tasks nearly often as I should when I'm in the throes of a busy semester.

Last night we had several dear friends over for steaks. I termed the night my Final Fling. I said good night to each family at the door with, "Thank you for coming -- see you in the summer!" Of course it's an exaggeration, but only by a little. It seems that all my schedule can hold while class is in session is homework and studying, classes, academic organization meetings, and family (sadly, in that order.)

It may not sound like it to the poor stranger stumbling into my blog, but I am thankful for the opportunity to be pursuing my education. Although I had a job that I liked, I am glad that we took the opportunity that presented itself five years ago to get off the double-income hamster wheel. Not that a career isn't a worthy thing for a woman to have; a career is what I'm ultimately after here. But I was working because I had to work, and our family was paying for it in stress, tight schedules, and day care tuition. Other people were raising our children so that I could continue working in a job that I pretty much stumbled into. It wasn't the career of my dreams or goals, and it finally became a cage that I was glad to escape.

Finding your calling in life and pursuing it is such an exhilarating process. And I'm aware of how fortunate I am to have the freedom to do that. Sure, the prep work (aka my education) is a long arduous process, and I'm only in the first phase of it. But each day I get out of bed, knowing that I am really living! And for that, I'm thankful. That, and these things:

I am a woman obtaining higher education. I live in a country that does not forbid its women to learn to read, or to work outside of their home. I live in a country in a stretched economic period, yet my husband has a steady job (that isn't threatened by cutbacks) that he enjoys, at which he excels, allowing me to go to school instead of work to supplement the family's income. My husband has great favor in his career, and I have great favor with my husband. I have a husband who supports me and my goals. I am married to my best friend, my biggest fan, my business partner, and the hottest guy I ever dated. I am so thankful!

My boys understand what I'm doing and support me, too. Once, when I was feeling a bit overwhelmed with all the studies and decisions and responsibilities taking my time away from the kids (and the guilt that comes with those things) I remember telling Nate how hard this whole college-thing was. Lucky Nate gets to hear some of my thinking-out-loud; I started running down medical career options that didn't take as big a commitment as MD does. Nate thought for a second, then asked, "But you want to be a doctor, right?" "Yes," I responded. "Then you can do it. Don't settle, Mom"

See how blessed I am? I am so thankful!

I have friends that believe in me and believe for me to journey well on this path I've chosen. Although my best friend made sniffily-sad faces a few times yesterday as we talked about the upcoming semester -- all in jest (I think) -- I know she is cheering me on. She provides a warm, safe second home to my boys when work takes dad and school takes me. She provides encouragement and a listening ear when I lament an impossibly difficult class. She prays for me, and I for her. And when the semester is done, we take at least one day, just the two of us, and play. No kids, no husbands, just girls. For her, for all my friends, and for those days with them, I am so thankful!

And tomorrow, I'll start a challenging semester of stretching my skull so that my brain can hold more. I'll be one more step closer to my undergraduate degree, medical school, and my destiny. I'll have yet another chance to meet new people, influence them well, and encourage them to be their best as I endeavor to be mine.

Yes, I'm thankful.