Enough

Finals, completed on the 15th -- check.
(sigh of relief -- check.)

Christmas decorations, dug out and hung indoors by the 18th -- check.
Christmas tree, purchased 7 days before Christmas (for $5) -- check.
Kids out for Christmas break -- check. School parties -- check.
Throw Christmas party on the 21st -- check. (outdoor decorations completed on the 20th.)

Grades, posted and confirmed on the 22nd -- check. Staight B's, a 3.0.

I wonder, when reviewing my application, if medical school admission boards will see my grades from this semester along with a copy of my family's schedule. Surely that would help. Surely there will be at least one mother on that board, who will look at my application with an impressed, "Hmm!" Surely that one mother will go to bat for me, will say, "Look how well this student did in Organic Chemistry -- the hardest class I ever took by far -- and she has two school-aged children!" Surely that one mother will convince most of the others sitting on said board that I am a sure bet, even if my GPA is lower than many other applicants, even if I don't have extensive volunteerism to list in my resume, even if I have not balanced 18-hour semesters with a job and community service.

One can only hope. And isn't Christmas about hope? Hope for the world, born in the form of a blessed, miracle baby, delivered by the bright light of a unique star. That same baby, grown into the one and only sinless man, both man and God, died so that I might live -- now that's hope. And that's just enough to keep me living my life to the fullest, giving my all so that I can walk this path; just enough hope that my all will be enough.

Dead Day

Heh, what a misnomer!! There's more activity here on the big hill than any day!!

Good luck to all my homies in academia on this semester's finals. May we prove that we have learned (at least temporarily) all that we need to have learned from this semester's classes, and then may we enjoy our end-of-year celebrations, each and every one!!

Parallel Worlds, Parallel Lives

Two entries ago, I talked about this PBS documentary:

http://www.pbs.org/wgbh/nova/manyworlds/

I was reminded of it by a conversation with a friend at church last night. He only watches PBS, so I brought it up. Sure enough, he had seen it.

Says he in excitement and glee, "You want a copy? I recorded it!"

Now I know I'm not the only science geek within the circles in which I run. I am, however, continually surprised when science geeks that are incognito come out and proudly profess their PBS predilection.

Anyway, check it out; it was awesome!

Observations

I've noticed this week other students -- my peers -- have begun calling me ma'am.

Oh, dear...

Putting this into perspective -- just last fall, I was carded regularly when buying wine. Wonder what has happened this year?

I also determined to get myself back on a regular workout schedule this week, even if that means just 20 minutes in the gym 2-3 times a week. I noticed right away that this seemed to energize me and helped me focus better when studying.

Maybe (after time and consistency) it'll help me blend in better again. My vanity isn't letting me take this "ma'am" stuff lying down!

O what delights!

I just registered for my spring 2009 semester. Intellectual heights awaiting me come January 2009:

• Physics,
• Organic Chemistry II (yes, the fun continues!),
• Microbiology, and
• Genetics

Labs for one and all (well, except naughty o-chem; scheduling conflict. Shame.)

If ANYone would have told me ten years ago that in spring 2009 I would be taking these classes, I would've laughed in their faces, right before I clipped them. Innit funny where life can take you?

This is great! I'm excited about these classes. University has uncovered a voracious scientific curiosity within me that I never knew existed. Oh, what delights await the inquisitive!

The boys and I watched a PBS documentary that followed indie-rocker Mark Everett on a journey to trace the life of his father Hugh Everett, who died 26 years ago when Mark was 18. Elder Everett is the physicist responsible for the theory of alternate dimensions which has been in turn inspiring and incensing physics scholars since the 1950's. The program was a really cool introduction to some of the principles of quantum mechanics, and it captured the attention of two boys who are already showing dangerous tendencies toward thought experiments and scientific inquiry. When I told them I was taking physics next semester, there were high-fives all around. I'm a hero, a super-genius, a ROCK STAR to my kids! (ri-i-ight!!)

Now, in light of my *yawn* keen interest in physics applications such as the Hadron superconductor (which, btw, I feel kinda bad about apparently cursing, since it broke on its first trial after I publicly thumbed my nose at it here) you may be asking, "What exactly will sustain you through an entire academic year of physics education?"

I'm glad you asked.

I love mind blowing party conversations about physics, especially when there's tequila involved (Don Julio Anejo is best for this, right Eric?) and I enjoy taking concepts to their next logical (or illogical) conclusion. I'm an avid Star Trek fan, which was responsible in part for infusing pop culture with quantum mechanics. But when you start spending billions of dollars on physics research intent on finding antimatter (whether or not it actually exists) I find myself on shaky ground in terms of practicality. Maybe someone can explain what value the Hadron will add to the world for its high-dollar budget, when there are children whose families can't afford to put shoes on them.

Maybe I'll learn that next semester.

Float like a Butterfly

I celebrated my 37th birthday this past summer. This was my birthday present from hubby.

(This is for you, Mom!)

The butterfly tails trail down the side of my back, flowing back and forth over each other, and cross to the right side at my lower back. I got major props from my tattoo artist for going so big on my first tattoo!

For my next trick, I'm thinking lipstick-red highlights...

Before anyone starts thinking that I'm in an early midlife crisis, or trying to stay hip on campus, you must know that I've always been a little ... shall we say, expressive. Maybe eccentric. Never boring (see earlier post on my fear of blah.)

I tend to think that I finally got up enough guts to do something I've always wanted to do. Sounds like a lot of what I'm doing these days!

Hubby will get one, too. The sooner the better. (tattoos are super-sexy!)

Bodybuilding and Breakfast Tacos

At 7:37 am today, I looked around the house to determine what was missing, and I realized it was the noise of stress. Dad had whisked Luke away to school a couple of minutes earlier (so he wouldn't be late like he would've if he rode his bike that close to tardy-bell time.) Nate had already headed out for the bus stop. Suddenly I found myself alone in the house without even the heady, frantic noise of my mental to-do list rattling about between my ears.

The peace was so pervasive I could touch it. I smiled, closed my eyes and breathed it in, and moved on to breakfast.

I'm here alone, cooking only for myself. What do I want? Breakfast tacos!

But not my typically healthy tacos (or I should say taco, since I usually only eat one) of egg whites and lite cheese on wholegrain low-fat tortilla. Wes came home from his grocery-shopping excursion with traditional tortillas so fresh they were still warm. So I made tacos (yes, two) with those yummy-soft morsels, cheese (still lite), bacon (well, turkey bacon), and eggs (okay, still egg whites).

And ate them (both) surrounded by the peace of my home. I didn't feel (too) guilty until the last bite was gone. The experience was too genuinely gratifying to be accompanied by guilt. But it did make me think a bit.

*Confession time* I have gained about five pounds since last May, three of which have happened since the beginning of this semester. I began the semester with what I thought was a workable workout plan. Somewhere in the last couple of weeks, however, I confiscated the two hours I had set aside for weight training and applied them to studying. I guess I robbed Arnold to pay Einstein. And somewhere along the way I decided it was too mentally taxing to concern myself too much with the overall nutritive value of my meals. I still have some habits I don't normally dispose of; I choose wheat over white (well...usually) lean over fatty. But veggies? Fruit? Counting carbs and fat grams? Limiting caffeine and amping up water intake? HA! I'm seriously lacking in those areas.

A little background here, in case you've wandered in from off the street.

I ended each pregnancy with the scale needle pointing to a number larger than 215 pounds; I am 5'4". Needless to say, that's too heavy. I finally overcame a lifelong weight problem with fitness and nutrition, a journey of enlightenment that started when Luke was a toddler and has branched off into my premed studies. Before I started university, I became a certified personal trainer and a group fitness instructor. The fitness industry was trending toward degreed and licensed fitness professionals, so I began my undergraduate degree pursuit studying exercise and sports science. I always had the doctor goal in mind, but realized that the exercise science route would probably take twice the time as biology would, and the mirror reminds me I'm not growing younger.

But even before my fitness fetish led me to teach, it led me to compete. Bodybuilding. Actually, figure competition - more like bodybuilding 'lite'. It's the beauty pageant's long-lost cousin, emerging on the bodybuilder's stage. A little less muscle, a lot more glam.

This is me at my last competition.

Compared to the *now* photo on my profile, it's obvious that I'm not quite in the same physical condition. Which is fine, really, considering what it took to get there. My alarm clock would wake me up at 4:30 am every morning to workout before work. I consumed so little calories that I could barely think, and they were all precisely partitioned into percentages coming from lean protein, complex carbohydrates (not much of these,) and healthy fats (even less of these.) It took so much attention and mental energy on top of the physical output that it became an obsession. PLUS, I leaned out so much that I entered amenorrhea (my periods stopped) and it took my cycle six-plus months to recalibrate. Talk about horrendous hormones...

Although I've determined that it's not worth it to me to pursue bodybuilding, I still would *love* to hold on to the healthy lifestyle changes I made that brought me down the scale and to my current educational pursuit. I hear, however, many premed students lamenting the paradox of neglecting their own health in order to become a health care provider. I have personal experience in my background that should keep me from that paradox; it should firmly ensconce me far away from that paradox.

My best friend has regularly expressed surprise when I divulge that my workouts are no longer regular. She always assumed that once I won the battle over laziness I'd never relapse. Truthfully, I assumed that, too.

But it's not really laziness. There are, after all, so many hours in a day. If I have to re-allocate minutes from sweating to studying in order to survive in school, I have to hope that I can pick up fitness habits again before I develop adult-onset diabetes, or even severe "Dunlap syndrome."

Now, if I can convince my husband to not buy homemade flour tortillas...