Picture Perfect

Ouch! That's what I feel like today:

http://nbcsports.msnbc.com/id/27156844/displaymode/1107/framenumber/13/s/2/

Coping

That's something I'm not doing too well, at least not today.

In my first post I discoursed about the growing demographic known as non-traditional students. My mom, who went back to college when I was a kid, told me that there wasn't even a name for it when she did it. Since so many of my generation have discovered that you can never stop learning (for some reason or another) we've named ourselves.

I know that there are others out there doing what I'm doing. I know they're carrying full-time class loads while parenting and spousing and home-owning and all the other things that go on in their lives. What I don't know is, do they all feel like they're losing their f***ing minds like I do??

I'd really love to know...

I took my organic chemistry midterm this past week. I haven't seen my grade yet; in fact I'm frightened to. It occurred to me on my way in to take the test, careening on the edge of panic and sleep deprivation, that it might be a blessing to fail the test and the class, because I understand so little about this foundational subject that I don't think I could go on in chemistry from here after this semester. I have heard how hellacious this class is, I just didn't really believe anyone who said that. I had no real standard to compare it to. I thought, well general chem was difficult at first, but I got through both semesters of it with an A -- surely o-chem is manageable!

*whimper!*

This class has removed my liver in an unceremonious manner by way of my throat, without anesthetic. And I'm only halfway through it. I'm expected to continue on, sans liver, and leave the class after the final with a smile, as if I learned something. (Besides how to live without a major organ, that is.)

I tend to think it's not just organic chemistry, though. It's that, on top of all the things that come with life past the traditional student age bracket. But when I look around (on my whiny days, wondering if I'll make it) at other mature students -- grad students, or even those pursuing doctorates while working full time in their career (which, undoubtedly, is a much more stringent regimen) -- I'm the only one I see complaining. Of course, this only reinforces my self doubt.

If there are any other mothers-or-fathers/full time students who happen to be reading along and want to chime in, please do, and save this poor girl from what has become a 24/7 self-deprecating pity party, please?!

(Okay, end of the painfully-insane drivel I'm calling a post)

Neglect

O poor blog
so empty and white
not full of words
both pithy and light

Do you weep from neglect
with head hung low?
Or do you wait patiently
for your screen to glow?

O poor blog
do not despair
One day organic chemistry
will let me up for air

On that day with words of glee
or pain, depending on test's grade,
I'll cover you from length to width
with thoughts, ideas, and ...

or I'll prepare for the next calculus test. (I need a drink!)

Lifted comment...

...from a post over at White Coat Rants.

http://whitecoatrants.wordpress.com/2008/02/07/canaries-in-the-coal-mine/

(I hope this doesn't constitute plagiarism; I'm giving full credit here!)

Says Michelle:

Americans who complain about US healthcare should try being sick in Canada.

I’m an American who has now lived in Canada for ten years. The newspapers are full of stories of people waiting. Patients wait for days in emergency for a bed because the nursing shortage has resulted in permanent bed closures. Patients wait two years for hip replacement because we don’t have enough orthopedic surgeons or enough operating time.

A woman was diagnosed with recurrence of ovarian cancer and waited three months for surgery.

We have old facilities that are overwhelmed with increasing numbers of ED patients and a newer ED that closes at 8pm. We hold fundraising dinners to buy cardiac monitors. People go to the ED for anything and everything because it’s “free.” Doctors can’t set their fees; the government decides how much to pay them.

The government also runs the nursing homes and decide how many there will be. Are you surprised that we have a shortage of those as well? So patients who don’t need to be in hospital take up beds that are needed for acute cases.

This is a very astute observation and comparison, if you ask me. Requiring free emergency care (ie: tax-funded health care) would make ED staff -- including ED doctors -- government employees. But in light of some laws already handcuffing medical practitioners, that may be a more appealing alternative. At least they'd get paid, right?

EMTALA (Emergency Medical Treatment and Labor Act) mandates hospital and ambulance services for anyone needing treatment regardless of citizenship or ability to pay -- and it makes no provision for reimbursement. With EMTALA in mind, the government is attempting to employ medical professionals anyway, only without pay -- which, in any coherent definition, would make them slaves, no?? Forced work without pay? Hmmm...

EMTALA, by the way, was buried in Omnibus legislation in 1986, when it was passed into law. I wonder how many legislators knew exactly what they were doing to their constituents that pay taxes on incomes earned by treating patients?

Canadian stories such as the ones in Michelle's comment, ED docs' stories from bordertowns in Texas, and the previous article comparing care in London to care in New York, make extremely clear to me that free care, or even one-source payment for care, is not the answer. What is the answer? Stay tuned, as I try to carve out time to work on that one.

Then again, you might be waiting a while for that...

News article of interest, eh ol' chap?

Here's a link to an interesting read:

http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/26794291/from/ET/

It's a comparison of US healthcare and UK healthcare. It's slightly entertaining, as it's an editorial-type piece, not just informative. Her description of the hospital stay she recently endured in London reminded me of horror-stories coming out of the local hospital in the small Texas town my husband is from. But that's a subject for another blog entry...

Anyway, if I were given the choice, I'd choose what we have here at home over what some are saying is the gold standard across the pond there in Britain. Even if I were walking in this journalist's shoes.

oh, by the way, I'm "that" close to officially dipping my toe into the hospital world; I should start physician shadowing within the next couple of weeks! V-E-R-R-R-R-Y excited!!

To Do's and Not To Do's

On today's To-Do List:

1. Gather at least 5 potential sources for a paper in biology lab.
2. Fold laundry.
3. Study for calculus test (TUESDAY!!)
4. Prepare for labs next week.
5. Walk the dog -- EXERCISE!!
6. Church tonight.
7. Prepare to teach Sunday.

But for now I choose to focus a bit on #5. Copper the dog is jonesing for a walk, and I will soon oblige him. He's part beagle, part bloodhound, all cute and loving! He's the kind of dog that will ferociously protect our family from invading frogs and cats, but lick robbers to death. And while beagles have a genetic disposition to run away, Copper seems to have (finally) overcome it and just waits for us at the gate. But put him on a leash, and look out!

The beagle part battles the bloodhound part on our walks. He gets so excited that he pulls on the leash, forging ahead as fast as the owner on the other end will let him. I decided at one time that Copper is a sprint-interval doggie; he likes to run all-out for 1-2 minutes, and then walk the same amount of time, for about 4-6 cycles. Which works well for me, since I like to do that, too. Copper's little body seems to be made mostly of fast-twitch muscle fibers, which give him a lot of power and speed for about 1/2 mile (maybe a bit more) but leave him breathless and helpless for long-distance walks. Once, he actually sat down before we got to the last mile of a 3-mile walk and refused to go further. I felt the need to carry him, he was panting so hard! Needless to say, a marathon is definitely not on Copper's to-do list.

There are other times, though, when the beagle of the beast seems to be (mostly) in check, and the bloodhound takes over. Those are the times that Copper resembles a canine vacuum cleaner. As soon as we hit the sidewalk, his nose is to the ground, sniffing after any trail he can pick up. Yet even then, the beagle creeps back in; while his front half is busy sniffing, his back half gets antsy, so he ends up walking sort of sideways as his hindquarters try to overtake and pass the front end.

We adopted Copper a couple of years ago on spring break. Prior to that I had relaxed my no-pets policy and gave in to the boys' requests for mice. We were at Petsmart to buy mouse food for Runner and Boomerang (neither of which are still with us, may they rest in peace) when we met Copper. He was in the PAWS pen in front of the store, wrestling with another dog, when he sniffed Luke out and commenced to making friends and stealing hearts. Luke was afraid of dogs -- deathly afraid -- since he was barely walking. Yet Luke fell for Copper. We would've gone on about our day without adding a dog to our family had Luke not put his foot down and said, "I'm not leaving without that dog!"

So we left Petsmart with mouse food, dog food, other various and sundry dogcare accessories and information, and a dog -- and with wallets about $300 lighter. Today, Luke plays with Copper occasionally, but he mostly waves to him as he walks past him toward his Legos. *sigh* But Copper has gained a family that feeds him and loves him, and Wes and I have gained a new walk/run partner.

On our walk/runs, Copper sniffs and marks, and I observe and admire my neighbor's landscaping prowess. We lovingly call our neighborhood "Pleasantville." It's deliberately designed to look like a scene from Leave it to Beaver. Only I don't wear pumps and pearls while vacuuming (or walking the dog) like June Cleaver.

There are some gorgeous yards in this subdivision! So many different colors and varieties of blooms and bushes and vines and trees, so many shapes of leaves and perfectly-coiffed lawns of full and fluffy green grass. Perfectly sparkling white picket fences surround family getaways in the back yards of these perfect houses, marking where perfect families reside. I find myself planning what I want to do with my landscaping, getting ideas from my neighbors, while I'm out exercising my body. I lapse into a bit of a dream state occasionally, visualizing a perfectly level back yard behind my house, complete with a great deck or rocked-in patio, topped by a canopy garden lights strung between the shade trees that sparkle in the twilight while we entertain. The scent of jasmine wafts on the breeze from vines covering the fences. Colors converge from various flowering bushes, perfectly pruned and arrayed. Tiki torches and lanterns light paths encircling the little garden patches, leading to a bench here, an arbor there...

Suddenly I'm ripped out of my reverie by a reminder of my to-do list:

1. Gather at least 5 potential sources for a paper in biology lab.
2. Fold laundry.
3. Study for calculus test (TUESDAY!!)
4. Prepare for labs next week...

And I shake it off, and return to my reality with a sigh.

Before I started school I had a pretty nice yard. It wasn't perfect, because I'm not a perfect gardener. Our home is only about eight years old, and we started from scratch in our yard. I have a short-sighted tendency to plant things too closely because the bed looks too sparse when the plants are first put in; next thing ya know, they're crowding each other and fighting for food and root space. At any rate, I began well, and we had a pretty nice look going. There was color in the front yard, with rows of white brick circling several flowerbeds. There was symmetry in the back yard, and while I wanted vines to line the fences and grow up lattices against the garage, I at least had a start with sage, boxwoods, and lantana in a variety of shades. Plans were made for planting more trees, and possibly a small kitchen garden.

Then the nudging on to higher education came; my yard has suffered ever since.

Copper and I return from our walks, tired yet invigorated, to a yard that sometimes grows more weeds than grass, complete with patches where nothing grows at all, and flowerbeds that grow more grass than flowers. He doesn't care -- he just wants to lie down after a long drink from the water bowl. But I have to put on blinders, because I know that my priority is research and homework, not gardening. What little time is left after that will go to laundry and dinner.

The unfortunate truth is there are only 24 short hours in everyone's day. Only so much can be crammed into those limited hours. This is a universal truth that nobody escapes. I feel at times that I have enough responsibilities to fill at least 30 hours on most days, when they're all piled up together in a big heap on my to-do list. Some days, my to-do list looks more like a dream list -- the list compiled of all the things I want to do, I wish to do, I dream to do. Only I dream of boring things like yardwork, while others dream of travel and shopping. But my list still looks dreamy (full of things that'll only get done in my dreams) especially when viewed in the light of what has to be done to prepare for tomorrow's classes or this week's tests or Nathan's band trip next week or Luke's chess tournament in a few days...

So I choose to neglect my yard. I'm sure my neighborhood association will not approve, and they may even send me a letter just so I'll know exactly how much they disapprove and on what grounds. It'll go in the pile of mail, along with the other low-priority stuff that will not get my attention today. I have to set priorities when so many things are screaming for my attention; at this stage in the game, school (and exercise -- why neglect my own health while endeavoring to become a healthcare practitioner?!) trumps yardwork.

And regardless of what my neighbors think, Copper still loves me.

Stem Cells

I decided I (finally) needed to start doing some medical reading. Behind the eight-ball, ya think??

At any rate, this was an intriguing abstract from a study I will read in depth:

Scientists Generate Stem Cell Line from Patient with Lou Gehrig's Disease

Privately funded scientists report successfully generating stem cells from a patient with an inherited form of Lou Gehrig's disease, or amyotrophic lateral sclerosis (ALS). Starting with skin cells from the patient, the scientists used viruses to insert factors to reprogram the adult skin cells into induced pluripotent stem cells (iPSC) (see Human Skin Cells Reprogrammed). Once they had generated an ALS-iPSC line, the scientists coaxed the cells into becoming the type of motor neurons that are destroyed in ALS. These iPSC-derived motor neurons carry genes responsible for ALS and hold great potential for investigating the ALS disease process in human cells. Scientists are still uncertain whether the iPSC-derived motor neurons will degenerate in the same way as the patient's naturally occurring motor neurons. Ongoing experiments are comparing healthy motor neurons to the ALS-iPSC–derived motor neurons. If the iPSC-derived motor neurons show signs of ALS-like degeneration, they will be invaluable for observing events in the course of the ALS disease process and for testing potential ALS drugs on human cells in the laboratory before the drugs are used in humans. Science advance online publication, laboratory of K. Eggan. 2008 July 31.

Of interest to me in this study:
1) The stem cells were generated using adult stem cells.
2) They were generated in the hope of observing the disease progress, in order to run drug trials that will not harm actual patients, which I would assume would allow for more progressive and innovative (read: risky) research.
3) The scientists running the study are privately-funded.

1) Why did the scientific community go to embryonic stem cells? Was this their first approach, or did some study or another suggest that they would work better than any others? It would seem, from the chronology that I've observed (admittedly, not in detail), that experimental success with adult stem cells is being reported only recently. Is that because the trials are just now coming to conclusions and they started the trials concurrently with embryonic research?

I wonder at the level to which we've sunk if our first thought is to start with an embryo. I guess it boils down to your definition of a living individual. If you believe that the baby growing inside a mother is merely a growth of cells, then they are cells that belong to her, they are part of an individual that reserves the right to do whatever she wants with her body. But if you recognize the embryo as an individual from the moment of conception, then that embryo is the most precious and innocent of all live, and deserves our utmost protection. The thought of fetus farming is reprehensible to me, as one who has taken medicine as her life's calling.

None of this is to say that I don't support the research -- I am sold! We should learn all we can, and innovate as many cures and preventions as possible. To that end, this study is extremely promising, because all individuals are served and protected, even the smallest of all.

2) Human cell petri dish -- how cool is that?? With this method, researchers can be as progressive in their drug protocols as they deem necessary without causing any harm. They can push the envelope and forge into new treatment territories. What a great place to start!

3) Privately-funded scientists would seem to have more freedom to innovate than those who are government-funded. Granted, the other side of the coin is the risk that your benefactor would not like the results you're observing and would threaten to pull the plug if you don't produce evidence to their liking. And there's the chance that the well would run dry. But on the upside, you would surely have more freedom, less parameters, and far less red tape than with the government funding your research.

On that note, I looked up John McCain's statements regarding health care and research. This was of interest:

Stem cell research offers tremendous hope for those suffering from a variety of deadly diseases - hope for both cures and life-extending treatments. However, the compassion to relieve suffering and to cure deadly disease cannot erode moral and ethical principles.For this reason, John McCain opposes the intentional creation of human embryos for research purposes. To that end, Senator McCain voted to ban the practice of "fetal farming," making it a federal crime for researchers to use cells or fetal tissue from an embryo created for research purposes. Furthermore, he voted to ban attempts to use or obtain human cells gestated in animals. Finally, John McCain strongly opposes human cloning and voted to ban the practice, and any related experimentation, under federal law.As president, John McCain will strongly support funding for promising research programs, including amniotic fluid and adult stem cell research and other types of scientific study that do not involve the use of human embryos.Where federal funds are used for stem cell research, Senator McCain believes clear lines should be drawn that reflect a refusal to sacrifice moral values and ethical principles for the sake of scientific progress, and that any such research should be subject to strict federal guidelines. (http://www.johnmccain.com/Informing/Issues/95b18512-d5b6-456e-90a2-12028d71df58.htm)

Admittedly, it's only slightly interesting, because it's the talking points, the public statement found on his website. But, from my limited knowledge, it lines up with what I believe to be right. I will learn more in the days and months to come, and will continue checking the alignment.